It was time for a change, she decided. It was time to be stronger.
To step out of the pool of self pity, step away from the dangers of selective memories, all of the good moments looping through her head, every disapointment erased.
It was time to see the beauty in her breakdown, time to emerge as something more.
"Attachment brings suffering"
She remembered the words that had been whispered to her as she hiked through the forest one day. An elderly man, a faded green cap on his head had asked her to stop for a moment. He said he had learned one thing in life, and had nobody to tell. He asked if she would listen.
That was the first thing he taught her, to listen. To hear his intention beyond the words. To understand him. He was letting her, a complete stranger, into his life. How beautiful, how achingly raw! She wanted to rejoice but knew that was not his intention. Instead, she opened her heart and mind...and heard.
Now she was listening to herself.
Her heart beating, the nerves in her mind and body humming as she moved her fingers, her toes. As she walked. Now she knew who she had to be. She had to let go of the person that hurt, she had to let go of the person that was clinging desperately. Moving forward meant moving out, like a snake slipping out of its skin. She would grow in new ways, change it all.
Become more adventurous.