take me away

I believe in running away to the seaside

to crying in the presence of seagulls

to dreaming as the darkness settles in.

There is something beautiful in the dance

that is created in the lonely spaces, the lovely spaces,

where all is quiet but the chaos inside yourself.

Look out into the distance

and into yourself.

Find what you want, hold the thought in your hand,

and continue running-

this time, towards that thought.

be brave

I think the most beautiful thing a person can do is live.

Live outrageously, courageously,

with intention.

There is a difference between those who live and those who exist.

There is a difference in their voice, in their step, in their breath.

Most importantly,

there is a difference in their heart.

They say there are two ways to bring brightness into this world: to be the light, but also to be the mirror that reflects it. I don't think the mirror has to be quieter. I don't think the mirror is any less of light.

Have you seen a disco ball?

It takes the light one step further, one step further into beautiful.

"My life is my message" Ghandi said,

and that is the best message I think one can give.

Live as you intend the world to be, live as you wish people to be, live

and they will follow.

And it will be beautiful.

Believe in kissing.

words words words

All I want is for someone to listen, someone to hear, someone to know, someone to understand.

Those someones give the words

meaning.

watch me

Nobody can stop you, nobody will stop you

from growing, from blooming, from blossoming.

You decide your life

You don't need their permission or approval

It's all you.

Your choices are your beliefs,

show the world how you feel, who you are.

(Because you are beautiful

and the world could always use a little more beautiful)

"My life is my message" said Ghandi.

What do you want to show the world?

What do you have to teach?

Live your message.

People will stare, will stop, will pay attention:

you will change lives.

a world to believe in

freedom

living

It's easy to avoid life. It's easy to shell up, shut up, hole up, bury yourself in the busywork and nightmeres and fear. But the most rebellious thing you can do, the best person you can be, is somebody who runs at life. Who sees the incredible color spectrum of love and evil, of hate and anger, of miracles and wonders, and challenge it head on.

Stand there with open arms and recieve-

you are the gold at the end of the rainbow.

Living is hard to see as a choice, becaue it is our existence.

Our today and tomorrow, our now and forever.

But it is a choice.

Living is active (breathing is not),

Living is being conscious of your existence, of your feelings and your cravings and your dreams.

Living means taking risks, jumping off the cliff, dancing in the street.

Living means falling in love, eating too many sweets, crying when it hurts.

Living means trusting, opening, welcoming.

Living means pain and broken hearts.

Living is seeing everything in the world,

and realizing how beautiful the choice is.

Do one thing today that makes you feel more alive than you knew you could.

She dances.

dear world,
i would just like to say that i love you.
i love the way your people smile and laugh, i love the way glasses fall to the ends of sweaty noses.  i love the feeling of burrowing under layers of blankets, wool and cotton and fleece.  i love the sounds in a forest, walking on dry leaves, birds wings when they leap from branches, a flower pushing out of the earth. i love the darkness, the still silence of the night when only the stars are screaming. i love the feeling of your toes entering the freezing ocean water, the momentary shock and the seemingly infinite numbness. i love the feeling of hot sand burning the soft skin between my toes.  i love hot chocolate with cream, and coffee when it's scarcely past the point of burning your tongue. i love people who aren't afraid to open up, and make you a part of their life. i love woody allen movies and their awkward romances. i love falling in love.  i love walking in chilly morning air, and the refreshing scent of dew. i love mint leaves in my lemonade. i love learning new things.
i love you.

illuminated

Her eyes were glazed over even though her heart was illuminated.  When she opened her mouth she could hear the words falling on the floor, hitting the ground with a dull thud.  The candles surrounding her made tiny pinholes of light in the darkness.  Like the stars! exclaimed her little brother, and she smiled half-heartedly. 

I'm sorry I'm so broken, she would apologize feverishly to her therepist.  His eyes would glaze over as he replied in a facade of comfort, That's why I'm here.  I just don't know, I don't know what I'm supposed to be saying, saying here to get better, you know?  She would ask, feeling the sweat in her palms. 

There's nothing you're supposed to say, he would repeat each time,

just tell me everything.

But she could never tell him everything. Because she always felt drained, beaten, torn when she left that sterile place.  As though she had lost a part of herself.  Walking into the sunshine was physically painful, she was dizzy at all the stoplights on the way home.  The more of herself she gave away, the less she had to call her own.

And it wasn't fair at all, she thought to herself one day after their session.  He wasn't even excited that I made guacamole for my neighbors, and he didn't care about Timmy's 7th birthday.  He said he wanted to hear everything, and he's taking everything from me, but it means nothing in his hands. 

If it meant nothing to me, I wouldn't need to see him at all.

It's the meaning that hurts, that shivers, that is cold and hot and pulsing with thought. It's the meaning that devours, that leaps and stretches and worms it's way into conversations with strangers. She couldn't help herself, she had to talk about it.  The sessions took away the shards of broken glass she felt had been lodged in her skull, but she still carried their ghosts, imaginary friends that haunted and taunted, lounged around her in long white gowns. He could never see them, he could never take them away.

After everything else was gone, they were all she had.

Fly

Sometimes you have to start anew.  You have to wake up and not put your right foot down first. You have to set your alarm ten minutes earlier, and go outside when the sun is just beginning to burn over the scaffolding of the horizon.  You have to squint at it, and feel the pain as your head pounds with the light and the wind and the strange sensation that comes from breathing morning dew.  You have to go out to a fancy restaurant for lunch and splurge, because you deserve a treat.  You have to look at your life and look at your priorities and decide if they match up.  And if they don't, you can't allow yourself to shrug your shoulders and sigh with disapointment. You are not a failure, you are never a failure.  You are a work in progress, a beautiful, horrific, lovely, awkward, shameful, fabulous, glowing, dramatic work of art.  Some days your colors are like the rainbow, shaking and trembling with their conherence.  Some days they all drip to the bottom of the canvas, a brown puddle.  But you can always start again.  You deserve a life you want to live, you deserve a life that makes you crave the daylight so you can begin again, you deserve a life that makes you smile, but you deserve a life so full and true that you cry as well.
So open your eyes, open your heart, open your soul,
and live that life.

Belonging

Breathe deeply.

The love particles in your lungs have come from another

another life you do not know

but

they gave you life.

The peace particles you shed will go to another

another life you do not know

but

you gave them life.

With that knowledge

how can anyone be a stranger?

uncontrollable

it's not giving up. it's giving in.

giving in to the universe, giving in to life, giving in to love.

"how can you stay outside, there's a beautiful mess inside"

Haven't you ever wanted just to love? To hold somebody's hand and feel their warmth hovering in the space between your fingers, because it feels empty and cold alone?  And you realize, it doesn't really  matter who it is, because you get to this point of lonliness where you want love more than you want an actual person.  That's when it's a problem, you see. Because your mind starts breaking up your past into tiny pieces, and putting together the beautiful colors that slip well together and fit perfectly.  Until you're staring at this breathtaking jigsaw puzzle, and wanting it, and believing it to be real. Forgetting about those other pieces, shoved on the floor. Forgetting that people are not all pretty, that there is the ugly and the bad and the upset and the disgusting too. And that's what love is. It's not the perfection, so if you're looking for that, you'll forever be looking. It's the everything else. It's the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, the yin and the yang, all knotted and twisted and dirty and sparkling and confused.

glitter hands and marching bands

Does it mean more if love is something worth living for
or something worth dying for?

You need to know.

life life life.

Read for twice as long as you spend on the computer.


Imperfections make things more interesting.

You are a queen, act like it!

Du Mubt Dein Leben Andern

The Archaic Torso of Apollo
Rainer Maria Rilke
(Translated by Stephan Mitchell)

We cannot know his legendary headwith eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torsois still suffused with brilliance from inside,like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,
gleams in all its power. Otherwisethe curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could a smile run through the placid hips and thighsto that dark center where procreation flared.
Otherwise this stone would seem defacedbeneath the translucent cascade of the shouldersand would not glisten like a wild beast's fur:
would not, from all the borders of itself,burst like a star: for here there is no placethat does not see you. You must change your life.

Thank you all my lovely readers for dealing with my lack of posting recently! I got back from Holland a week ago, and things have been absolutely crazy since then. I haven't even uploaded pictures yet-but I'll be sure to post them here once I do (:

I've been really drawn to this poem recently, and the last line, originally "Du Mubt Dein Leben Andern" (German for "You must change your life") has just been ringing in my head.

What do you think?