"how can you stay outside, there's a beautiful mess inside"

Haven't you ever wanted just to love? To hold somebody's hand and feel their warmth hovering in the space between your fingers, because it feels empty and cold alone?  And you realize, it doesn't really  matter who it is, because you get to this point of lonliness where you want love more than you want an actual person.  That's when it's a problem, you see. Because your mind starts breaking up your past into tiny pieces, and putting together the beautiful colors that slip well together and fit perfectly.  Until you're staring at this breathtaking jigsaw puzzle, and wanting it, and believing it to be real. Forgetting about those other pieces, shoved on the floor. Forgetting that people are not all pretty, that there is the ugly and the bad and the upset and the disgusting too. And that's what love is. It's not the perfection, so if you're looking for that, you'll forever be looking. It's the everything else. It's the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, the yin and the yang, all knotted and twisted and dirty and sparkling and confused.